Find my latest novel on Amazon!

Find my latest novel on Amazon!

Justice, An Executioners’ Novel

Amazon Link: JUSTICE

Synopsis:

Heroes and heroines throughout time have understood self-sacrifice. Sometimes when you’re trying to bring Justice to the world, you forget to take care of yourself. That is, of course, why they are heroes and stand above the “take, take, take” mantra of shellfish pricks.

Then, there are times when the Fates smile upon you and you get to benefit both yourself AND the greater good. Those are the “bestest” of situations for sure, and the Executioners are more than happy to be altruistic opportunists when the need arises.

The problem, naturally, is when some rocks are turned over, even worse things crawl out of the darkness…

But if the job were easy, the Executioners would have never volunteered for it in the first place.

It’s time for a little Justice…

A New Writer’s Digest Review for Ixion

Looking forward to releasing my new novel in the Spring. In the meantime, I’m thankful for a recent review from Writer’s Digest. I submitted Ixion for a literary contest for Indie-authors, Self-Published EBook Awards. I did not win; however, I received a nice review, which I’ve included below:

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Structure, Organization, and Pacing:   4
Spelling, Punctuation, and Grammar:    4
Production Quality and Cover Design:    5
Plot and Story Appeal:   4
Character Appeal and Development:   4
Voice and Writing Style:   4

 
Judge’s Commentary*:

First, the cover is excellent. I love the image, the relation it brings to the plot, it gives a great idea what the reader is in store for, and it looks good. Nice work.

I really enjoy underworld mythology and was excited to read a creative take on those tales. I thought this book was quite an intense and epic ride, it seemed to be set to a level 10 intensity the entire time, and for most of the book that worked out. While the writing is compelling and the plot is exactly the intensity that is thrilling, I do think it would benefit from some variation in those levels. What I mean by that is, there are often a lot of things going on at once in the chapters, and at times it was a lot to keep hold of, especially when each of those things is really highly important. It would have been helpful to me to have a little more balance to give the more extreme plot points their full power where the reader is also given some pages of recovery time.

I think it is a testament to the strength of the writing that the scenarios seemed viable and for the most part worked for me, but I do wish there had been some more character development overall to counteract and help balance the plot.

*Judge, 7th Annual Writer’s Digest Self-Published eBook Awards.

 

Inglourious Basterds Review

Okay. Okay. I know. I know. I finally watched Inglourious Basterds.

So… Okay. I have to admit that I’m not a huge Tarantino film fan. I watch them because my friends like them, so there is a degree of peer pressure there. Still, I haven’t seen all of them, and I’m slowly getting around to doing so.

Case in point: Inglourious Basterds… Let’s just say I was inspired to watch a movie about people enlisted for the sake of “Killing Nazis,” as Portland, this summer, has been the standoff epicenter/gathering of chauvinistic, racist, blame-shifting, violence-baiting Nazis and their antithesis group–former “critical-mass”–Antifa shitheads.

Needless to say, I was hoping to see some Nazis killed in some truly artful and gruesome means.

“So, what did you think?” you ask.

I enjoyed the film. But I won’t labor on and I’ll simply cut the loquaciousness of my response: I was a little disappointed…

They could have really killed more Nazis.

“But it’s not like they could go all ‘The Shining’ scale and trigger a bloody wave spreading out from the center of Germany-occupied Paris? Or … an Ash character cutting through rows upon rows of Nazis with a chainsaw? Or someone like Lionel using a shoulder-holstered lawnmower to chop down the Schutzstaffel (SS) like the repugnant shitty crabgrass that they were,” you protest. “There is a level of realism and brutality that both factions in the movie–both sides pushing the boundaries of Humanity–that grounded it.”

Yes. Yes. I agree and understand your point. But, truth be told, I’m spooling up the “Opening of the Ark” scene as I write this…

Now. That. Was. Nazi. Killing. At. Its. Finest.

 

 

Why are there no ass shots of your female (or male) characters on your books?

I think it’s over done. I believe there is a treatise–if not several–out there regarding this subject, but (haha, not ‘butt’) it seems a little overplayed on book covers and movies posters. True, most of these covers and posters include both male and female butts; however, what is the point, especially when it is so blatantly obvious?

Granted, it may sell more books… I myself am intrigued by a nice posterior presented in all its glory for my visual appreciation. Still, in a world of the ME TOO! this seems like a disingenuous (if not effective) marketing ploy … considering that despite how “under-sexualized” we claim to be … we are all animals according to our DNA, and hence, have drives directly associated to the phenotypes (outwardly appearances) we find desirable as a species. Ergo: nice butt, arms, breasts, et. al.

Still, unlike some weirdos out there, I’m not going to fuck a book or a movie poster. For those of you that do, well, more power to you. Just please, keep or throw the book away when you’re done with it; DON’T resell it to Powells!

 

Thank you for participating!

Thank you, everyone, for participating in the recent “giveaway” events.

I hope you enjoy my books. It is always fun to write them.

Cheers!

–LB

New novel from L.B. Sisk!

It’s here! I’m excited to launch my new book Shears Trades Swords!

Click on the link HERE to find it on Amazon.

Book description below:

Stephanie Thierson has always loved being a sheepherder on her family’s farm … and, of course, doing an occasional job for the regional Constables Office. However, because of a recent rumored escapade and growing celebrity status in the area, she’s caught the attention of a young noblewoman, Gloria Hepner, who is in desperate need of her help.

Amber Tabiare is a child of destiny … her life written … or so it was said. Because of it, she and her partner have made a very good living by selling products ranging from the latest fashions to magical items of various kinds.

By happenstance, Steph, Amber and their friends are pulled into a perilous journey that is linked to the disappearance of Gloria’s brother…

After all, an ancient evil has been hiding for centuries. It has watched Humanity spread across the landscape unchecked. And it has had enough.

 

STS-Cover_Blue Eyes-FI

Handsome: A Netflix Mystery Movie, A Review

Quirky … I guess that seems to be my taste in shows and movies as of late, since I obviously don’t get enough of that  in my life. Okay, people who know me will readily realize that I was being facetious here, but I added the “italics” for those of you who don’t yet know my snark-ish nature.

So … where was I? Oh, yes, “Quirky” and my tastes in entertainment. Like my last review of Letterkenny, my current enjoyment of The Good Place, and my re-watching of Brooklyn Nine-Nine before the new season starts, I’ve lately become engrossed with characters and situations that are a tad peculiar.

Now don’t get me wrong … I like “normal” just like the next guy and gal. AND … there is “quirky” that is not my cup of tea…

“What? Oh, do tell us,” you say?

Okay, well, I draw the line at Napoleon Dynamite … Ugh, yes, I know it’s an endearing movie. I know it got rave reviews. I know. I know. I know … All I’ll say is that I watched it. Appreciated it. Don’t have to watch it again. But, yes, “Pedro for President!”

Shit, now, where was I? Oh, right…

Handsome: A Netflix Mystery Movie stars Jeff Garlin, as the primary protagonist, Gene Handsome. You may know Garlin from Curb Your Enthusiasm, and, lately he plays the hilariously “overly-weathered” father on The Goldbergs. In Handsome, which he also wrote and directed, he’s a Los Angeles Homicide Detective, who is “overly-weathered” and, well, a bit lonely. He has the sweetest dog in the world, though … but more on that later.

He’s surrounded by a great cast of supporting characters: Amy Sedaris, who plays his lecherous (yes, I know you normally don’t call a woman “lecherous” but it’s the best way here) boss, Lt. Tucker. Natasha Lyonne, his overly-sexed partner, Det. Fleur Scozzari. Steven Weber, an egotistical actor, Talbert Bacorn, who finds a dismembered body on his front lawn. And, of course, to make this menagerie complete, he’s also surrounded by a team of idiot coworkers, an annoying neighbor and his accordion-playing wife (well-played by Leah Remini), a new single neighbor (and possible love-interest) with her weirdo daughter, a neighbor who likes to hula hoop outside, and the cutest and sweetest GreatDane (who, I believe, steals the show as Candy).

The story is what it is in the title: a mystery. Handsome and crew investigate a murder of a young woman, who is found on Bacorn’s front lawn, decapitated and dismembered. I will forewarn you in “a death foretold way” that if you pay attention, “who did it” isn’t the mystery here. Instead, it is the investigation that uncovers the life and, ultimately, the death of someone, who, for better or worse (and her own doing, mind you), found herself in a complicated web of other broken people.

The fun, of course, is watching Handsome navigate through all of these complexities … and quirks.

It is currently playing on Netflix. Give it a view.

Reviews: Letterkenny

I generally don’t write reviews. I know what you’re thinking: “Why the f**k would you have an opinion on anything?”

True enough, I suppose. But anyone who’s read my novels and actually follow the mad ravings I post on social media know that … well … I’m quite opinionated … even though I try not to be too “judgy” if you know what I mean.

“Whoa! Peddle the Breaks now!” you might say, since this is probably the most I’ve ever really written on a blog post, let alone the rampant fart jokes on FB. BUT buckle-up, buttercup! Because this is my first ever review on my blog!

So, after that rather long and lengthy introduction, I’ll dial back about 20% of my anecdotes and delve right into the heart of it: The Review of Letterkenny…

“There are 5,000 people in Letterkenny. These are their problems.”

This is the brief but glorious intro to just about every episode of a series based in a fictional, rural town in Ontario. If you don’t know where Ontario is–God help you–just know that the series is based in Canada, so, just as some of my word choices above have indicated, there are some colloquialisms that you might need to hear a few times before they start to sink in.

The series was created by Jared Keeso and Jordan Beirnes, the former contributed to much of the writing and directing of each episode. It is on CraveTV, which is, unfortunately, inaccessible for subscription to us folks in the USA. Therefore, I watched two of four wonderful seasons on Hulu.

Don’t let Canada’s obvious attempt of “cold-heartedly” sequestering such joy from her, as of late, seemingly mildly-retarded cousin (Sorry, I mean mentally impaired). This show is a gem, as it follows the lives of the “hicks, skids, hockey players and Christians,” each group trying to make their impact in a town that … well … is at least big enough to have a produce stand, a hockey team and a bar (hmm … which I believe might have closed).

The primary protagonist is Wayne, who is a “hick,” is the “toughest person in town,” which is important thing to know, and is played by Jared himself. Other primary characters are his sister Katy, his friend Daryl, who they “affectionately” call Dary, and Dan, who we later discover is “too fat to run.” Then, of course, there are the secondary characters, who are pulled from the before mentioned groups.

Unlike my normal brain fodder that I read, watch and, well, write, there are no gratuitous explosions, gun battles or otherworldly sets (okay, rural Ontario could be considered that). Each episode, instead, treats you to beautiful wordplay as characters often throw barbs at each other … or just sit around and ponder the nature of people and things,  such as ongoing discussions about schneef, fundip and horns. If you, like me prior to watching this show, had no idea what I just said, Letterkenny will broaden not only your Canadian vocabulary but also your mind.

Anyhoo, “tick-tock” you might say, since you obviously have better things to do than keep reading this. So, I’ll wrap this up and “pitter-patter” off to the rest of my day as well. And, besides, I heard about this thing call the “Internet,” which has other seasons of Letterkenny that I can watch without violating the law…